Uncle Lumpy Comes to Visit and No Time

THE STORIES: UNCLE LUMPY COMES TO VISIT. Philip (known in the family as Uncle Lumpy) is not a happy man: His wife has divorced him; he has no job; and he needs to talk to someone-so he goes to the suburban home of his older brother, Lou. Lou is off on a business trip but his wife, Marion, is at home, and invites Philip to stay for brunch, then dinner, then the night. As the two discuss the absent Lou it is soon evident that they are both unhappy and unfulfilled and that Lou (who is apparently a thoroughly nasty, selfish man) is responsible for much of their misery. In a series of blackouts we see Philip growing ever closer to Marion and his niece Jennifer (who is spoken to but never seen) until, eventually, he has replaced his brother in the household-and the bedroom. But then Marion announces that Lou is coming home and Philip must go, which reluctantly he agrees to do, with a promise to return on Jennifer's birthday. However, when he comes back, he finds a changed Marion who is (a) unwilling to resume their relationship and (b) pregnant. Philip is shattered by this news, but Marion, secure in the knowledge that this will be her child, and not Lou's, is buoyant. In the final essence she too has used Uncle Lumpy for her own purposes, and as he trudges sadly off, we are aware that, for him, this unhappy pattern will probably never change. (1 man, 1 woman.) NO TIME. Randolph Hackmeat, fresh out of law school, is already a partner in his father's law firm. He is also about to be married to the sexy Susan; he is buying a twelve-bedroom house; and one by one his partners begin to die off-moving him up a step each time. But, as we learn in a series of brief and very funny vignettes, there are problems, too. His wife leaves him (and then comes back); his house burns down (he buys another); and his brother (the jealous one) overdoses on pool table cleaner. As the pace of the play quickens, Randy is besieged by all manner of intruders, from a psychiatrist to a crooked investment counselor, not to mention a curvaceous employee who seduces and then blackmails him. But the mad whirl suddenly stops when his doctor advises Randy (as he is looking over his retirement options) that he has terminal cancer-leaving his widow to weep-and then smile-at the vagaries of this odd thing called life. (12 men, 4 women.)Klavan, Laurence is the author of 'Uncle Lumpy Comes to Visit and No Time ', published 1986 under ISBN 9780822211891 and ISBN 0822211890.