Annoyance Bureau

Chapter 1 "Thank you for doing this for me," Mom said as we sat in the car outside Dad's building. "Thanks for letting me take this vacation. Just remember, Lucas. They love you.""Right," I said. "They love me."As in, "I love Lucas dearly. I just wish he were a little more, how shall I put this...a little less..." Which I'd overheard Dad's wife say last time I came to New York City, Columbus Day weekend.Mom knew what I'd been thinking. I could tell. "Okay," she said. "One more time. Survival tip number one?""Don't take it personally," I said."And survival tip number two?""Don't take it personally.""Exactly." She nodded. We'd spent the drive down making lists of ways to get me through this week. We'd packed up the Christmas gifts Mom had bought me, dropped my dog, Aslan, at the kennel, and headed here as soon as I got home from school. "And number three?"I knew I was supposed to say "DTIP" again. "Bring a lot of books."She laughed. I'd just added that one. "Don't read them at the table, though," she warned. "Or walking down the street.""Or in the bathroom. Ever," I said. "On pain of death." In Dad's apartment I had to share a bathroom with my step-sister, Phoebe.Mom's face went serious again. "Listen. Try to remember, okay? Number one, none of this is easy for Phoebe, either. Two, you're all still in the adjustment stage. Three, with a new baby in the family...Four, your dad and Claire are both working very long hours, so if they seem tense..."We were drawing out this list making, both of us. After a certain point it was easier just to leave.She hugged me."Oh, dear," she said, trying to get the clump of my hair that never stayed down to stay down. "Now I'm wishing I'd insisted on that haircut."I didn't realize till the car had pulled away that I hadn't told her to have a great week in the Bahamas.Dad's eyes went straight to my hair as soon as he opened the apartment door. "Welcome, welcome! Come on in. We've been waiting for you." I could see him trying to decide if he should shake my hand or hug me. He shook my hand. Then he gave me a sort of thump on the shoulder. This boy goes to Bentley Prep, I could see him thinking. Why does he still look like this?"Keep your coat on," Claire said after she'd kissed me. She looked like she was trying to resist the urge to reach over and pat down my hair too. "You can leave those bags here. We're going right out. We waited to choose a Christmas tree till you arrived, right, Calvin?"Calvin had his snowsuit on and was sitting in his stroller. "Woof!" he said, bouncing up and down. "Woof, woof! Woof!"I'd taught him to bark on Columbus Day. That was a long time ago for someone who wasn't even two. Calvin was cool."Grrrrr, Calvin!" I growled back at him."Grrrr!" He grinned at me."No growling, sweetie," Claire told him. "Say 'Hello, Lucas.' Lucas, you know I'd really appreciate if you wouldn't encourage him.""Sorry," I said."The other children in his play group are saying 'Mama' and 'Dada,'" she said. "Some of the little girls are speaking in whole sentences. It's embarrassing to have a child who only barks.""Sorry," I said again."Not a problem," Dad said. "Phoebe," he called. "Lucas is here. We're leaving."Phoebe came in carrying her cell phone and pulling on her black leather jacket, followed by Tinkerbell the cat. She looked me up and down. So did Tinkerbell. Oh, yes. We remember you, I could see him thinking. But do we hate you? Hmm. We might. Let's see. He sniffed my legs."He smells Aslan," I told Dad.Phoebe raised her eyebrow. "He smells something," she said too softly for Dad or Claire to hear.Don't take it personally, I told myself as we rode down in the elevator. I'd dropped my duffel and the shopping bag, but I still had my backpack on. It was stupid, I knew, carrying fifty pounds of sci-fi books to get a Christmas tree. But for some reason I felt better having my sFrank, Lucy is the author of 'Annoyance Bureau' with ISBN 9780689849039 and ISBN 0689849036.