101 Things NOT to Do Before You Die

Chapter One Don't watch the colorized version of It's a Wonderful Life Colorizationthe process of adding color to black-and-white filmswas invented by Wilson Markle and Brian Hunt in 1983. Since then, dozens of classic films have been "fixed" by antiblack-and-white zealots. They even colorized Casablanca (ironically, Humphrey Bogart's face was actually gray). Fortunately, Citizen Kane has escapedat least for now. Colorization has been referred to as "cultural vandalism" by The Writers Guild of America West. Critic Eric Mink called it a "bastardization" of film. And Gilbert Cates, then president of the Director's Guild of America, said that it ". . . is a process of dissembling the historical and artistic fabric of our landmarks." Yet many people watch these colorized movies. Don't be one of them! Insist on the original black-and-white. If you're ever watching an old movie on TV and you suspect chromatic trickery, check your movie guide to see how the original was produced. If it was in black-and-white, don't panic. Just take your remote, open the Video menu, and drain out all of the color. Then you can watch the film as it was intended to be watched. Other classic movies not to watch colorized The Absent-Minded Professor Adam's Rib Arsenic and Old Lace Bringing Up Baby King Kong The Maltese Falcon Miracle on 34th Street White Heat (presumably the white part remains white) Yankee Doodle Dandy Fun activities Write a scathing letter to Ted Turner, a vocal proponentand bankrollerof movie colorization. Start an Anti-Colorization League in your neighborhood. Protest colorization with a silent candlelight vigil. The inventors of colorization were Canadianstill are, for all I know. Colorization was first used in 1970 on film of the moon taken by Apollo astronauts. Some older TV shows are also being colorized, so stay alert! Chapter Two Don't try to bathe with a sliver of soap Frugality is a virtue. Of course. Waste not, want not. When frugality improves the quality of your life, it's a good thing. But when frugality becomes an end in itself, it's time to step back and get some perspective. Some people believe that saving fractions of pennies is worthwhile. They are excessively frugal with everything, even those things that cost very littlelike soap. These folks, for reasons unknown to science, use a bar of soap until it becomes a paper-thin sliver about the size of a postage stamp. Only then do they indulge themselves by opening a new bar. Don't be one of them! Accept the fact that soap is inexpensive. When a bar no longer gives a good lather, toss it, no matter what its size. And realize that your perception of soap, and every other thing you interact with in your world, affects the quality of your life. If your mind continually gets "just scraping by" messages, it will try to ensure that you just scrape by. But if it gets "enjoying life's bounty" messages, it will try to ensure that your cup is always running over. Trust me on this one. Napoleon Bonaparte once sent a letter to his wife in which he told her not to bathe during the two weeks that would pass before he returned home. A man often pays dear for a small frugality. Ralph Waldo Emerson Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soaHarris, Robert W. is the author of '101 Things NOT to Do Before You Die', published 2007 under ISBN 9780312357580 and ISBN 0312357583.