Falling

Chapter One The first sensation Matt Connor felt when he awoke that morning of all mornings was pain. For a long time he had come out of unconsciousness to a feeling of loss in his chest, and he had come to accept it as inevitable. It was ironic that the pain was quickly followed by a wave of love. Thoughts of her smile and hair caught forever in a yellow ray of sunshine. He still loved Amy Techer, always would, and he hated her more than words could say. That morning was special because it was the start of the day Matt planned to fake his death and disappear from the face of the earth. A bold plan, and he was not by nature a bold man. Yet Amy had changed him into something he was not. He had set the alarm for six but his eyes opened at five. He closed them and rolled over but sleep was lost. He felt unsettled on top of his pain. When he left his bed, he would never return to it. He would never see his apartment againhis stuff. Not that he had much. Thirty years old to the day, he thought grimly, and how little he had to show for it. The brief reflection hardened his resolve. His stomach was knotted and his heart pounded but he would go through with his plan. If he could not have love then she would not have it either. He wondered how many other men throughout history had come to the same conclusion. Matt got out of bed and took a hot shower. Tonight, if he was not careful, he would suffer a cold bath. He was an excellent pilot but an inexperienced skydiver. Of course, not many people riding a parachute to earth were required to hit a boat at night in the middle of the sea. Yet that particular challenge did not daunt him as much as others. Those other tasks would come later, after he was dead to the world, when he could no longer be blamed. Until then he just had to be systematicdo the job and not think. Still, he thought of her, of Amy. The name alone was a curse. He had scarce food in his apartment: a carton of milk, a loaf of bread, two overripe bananas. He made toast and spread jam and butter on it and wolfed down the milk while he dialed his mother. She lived in Santa Barbara, ninety miles north of his Santa Monica apartment. His mother had always hated that he never chewed his food. He supposed he had a streak of impatience in him, along with other things. Although early, his mother answered on the second ring. She was unhappy that he wouldn't be arriving for his birthday party until seven that night. The insignificance of that particular concern troubled him deeply. His mother would never see him again. "Why do you have to finish your scuba lessons today?" she asked after they had talked a minute. "I've wanted the certificate for a while. To get it on my birthday makes me feel like things are coming together for the next decade." "You already have everything going for you, Matt. Now that Cindy's in your life. Should I expect her early this evening?" "I'm not sure. I'm going to call her in a few minutes." "She didn't spend the night?" His mother was being coy. She liked Cindy, much more than she had liked Amy. None of his friends or family had cared for his ex-girlfriend. They saw what she had done to him; they thought they saw. He liked Cindy Firestone as well. A nice girl, but made of papier-mache when touched by his wretched hands. He could not really care for her because she was not Amy. It was so unfaPike, Christopher is the author of 'Falling', published 2008 under ISBN 9780765356444 and ISBN 0765356449.