Paradise Travel

Excerpted fromParadise Travelby Jorge Franco. Copyright A 2001 by Jorge Franco. Translation copyright A 2006 by Katherine Silver. Published January 2006 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC. All rights reserved. Icould easily have died that day at dawn after I got lost, not only because death itself stood in my way, but because I craved death with a passion. I remembered and finally understood all the times Reina had said: LetAs just kill ourselves, but after saying it so many times, nobody paid much attention anymore. AoeLetAs just kill ourselves,A sheAd say angrily whenever things didnAt go her way. I wasnAt worried about only ReinaAs life but about everybodyAs, especially mine that I took such good care of, not for any very good reason, maybe just that pessimistic love I always felt for life, a love that lasted until that night when I was the most desperate human being, when for the first time I thought: Better dead than alive and without Reina. But it was my memory of her strange ideas that made me believe I could take one more step, and then another. I knew when I started running that I was starting to lose her, and that in the twinkling of an eye I could also lose myself. While I was running away from the policemen, I pictured her, her angry mouth shouting: Marlon, donAt go out! But you also have to figure in my anger, and when I went out that night I never imagined I was going to get lost in the worldAs biggest, most intricate labyrinth, doomed to having as my last memory that angry expression on ReinaAs face, her yelling at me like my mother used to when I was little: Marlon Cruz, donAt you go out! I yelled back at her and left. We yelled at each other all the exhaustion and silence we had been keeping bottled up inside us ever since weAd decided on this madness of coming to New York to find our future. AoeNew York?A I asked her. AoeYes, New York.A AoeWhy so far away?A AoeBecause thatAs where it is,A Reina said. It was her idea. As a rule, all the ideas were hers. I had a few of my own, but only ReinaAs got anywhere, and this one was already well on its way. By the time she told me about it, everything had been decided. She didnAt even ask if I agreed. AoeWeAre both going,A she said. She went on about all the opportunities, the dollars, the chance to earn a good living, live a better life, get away from this shithole. AoeIn this place we havenAt done anything, we arenAt doing anything, and we arenAt ever going to do anything.A To finally have a place for the two of us, where we could get ahead in life and even have children, she continued. While she was saying all this, her eyes shone and she looked so sincere I actually believed her; there was so much determination in those eyes, they even scared me. AoeBut itAs so fFranco, Jorge is the author of 'Paradise Travel' with ISBN 9780312425968 and ISBN 0312425961.