The Center of the Universe (Yeah, That Would Be Me)

My name is Anita Li....That was stupid. Why am I introducing myself? It''s like I''m writing this for some stranger who might be reading this. I don''t want a stranger reading this. It''s my private diary. PRIVATE. Unless of course, maybe someday, waaaay in the future, I become famous (for what? who cares?) and this journal will be published. But by then my name will be on the cover of the book and everyone will already know who I am and so I won''t need to introduce myself. I will, however, need to give a bit ofcontextfor these mythical future readers.I''m sixteen.I''m going to be a junior in high school.I''m single -- meaning that I don''t have a boyfriend, not that I''m not married. But I''m not. Married. And anyway, how could I be married when I haven''t even ever had a boyfriend? I mean, to be married would mean that SOMEONE WOULD HAVE HAD TO FIND ME ATTRACTIVE FOR AT LEAST LIKE A FUCKING MINUTE! And that hasn''t happened yet. At least not to my face. I''m sure there are all kinds of crushes on me happening behind my back and the cutest boys in school are all too shy and intimidated by me to approach me. That''s probably what''s going on.What else?I have parents. I''m mad at them right now. Well, that''s not news. That would be true at almost any given moment. They treat me like they have no idea who I am, like I just walked into their home and started making myself a peanut butter sandwich. My very presence seems to confuse and irritate them. Like, for instance, I got my hair cut the other day and it wasn''t a good cut. It just wasn''t. And I told my mom that I was dissatisfied with it, and she asked if I wanted to go back and get it fixed, and I was like, "But it''s already too short!" And then she started yelling at me, saying, "Well, what do you want me to do? You''re being unreasonable. Blah, blah, blah!" Whatever. I don''t care how mean they are to me. I have a secret plan.... If my parents don''t shape up and start being nice to me soon, I''ll just refuse to take care of them when they''re old. And isn''t that pretty much why people have kids to begin with? So they have someone who''ll take care of them when they''re decrepit and senile and weak? I''m keeping track. I''m going to buy a ledger and document each and every one of their infractions. It''s all gonna add up. I guess they''ll just have to rely on my sister.I have a sister. A younger sister. Her name is Hope (awww, how cute...blech) and she''s four years my junior. She''s just about to hit puberty. And I think she''s gonna hit it hard. She''s already annoying as hell, and I don''t see that letting up anytime soon. I think she''s going to be acting premenstrual until she actually menstruates. However, for some reason she''s already managed to get herself a boyfriend. I don''t think they actually do anything, but it is a blow to my ego that my twelve-year-old sister is in a committed relationship with a guy and I''m not. In a committed relationship with a guy. Or in any kind of relationship with a guy, if we''re to get technical.My best friends are Victoria, Alexandra, and Jessica.Victoria is really cool. She''s an amazing artist. And a lot less anxious than I am. She keeps me grounded. Well, as grounded as I can be, which is still about twelve feet off the ground. And she understands me, and that''s pretty much all I care about -- being understood.Alexandra and I have been friends since first grade. Well, we''ve known each other since first grade. We have one of those hot-and-cold relationships. She can be pretty oblivious to other people''s feelings, and I sometimes get annoyed at her superficiality. But we''re also really close. She has a lot of experience with boys. She was an au pair this summer in the Hamptons for this really rich family and she met this guy and they went skinny-dipping every morning before her family woke up. I mean, come on! That''s so sexy. That''s like a complete fantasy. Alexandra has a high status at school, so sometimes it''s fun hanging aroundLiberty, Anita is the author of 'The Center of the Universe (Yeah, That Would Be Me)' with ISBN 9781416957898 and ISBN 1416957898.