Maid Machinegun

Chapter 1 1 Welcome Home, Master Hmm . . . Today, I need to order two bags of lemons, three packs of cream, and one bag of creme fraiche. After mopping the floor and polishing the china, I was completely exhausted. Back in the break room, I pulled off my white-brimmed, frilly headband, kicked back with a cup of tea, and turned on my laptop. Greetings. My name is Aaliyah Kominami. I work as a waitress in a small cafe in Akihabara. To be more precise, it's a maid cafe, where the waitresses all dress in traditional maid uniforms. Our cafe is a tiny flower blooming in the vast garden of Akihabara. Unfortunately, we aren't at all well known. All the other maid cafes have gotten lots of magazine and TV coverage, but we've been pretty much ignored. A Master with a maid cafe blog visited our cafe several months ago, but we haven't had any interviews since. Actually, his website was shut down immediately after the interview, so we never even made it onto his blog. Does anybody know about our cafe at all? B-But, I won't lose! Even if I'm about to! Today, I started a diary on the Boiled Eggs Online website to tell potential Masters about our wonderful maid cafe. I hope the seeds of this little project will grow, first into large trees, then into large forests, and eventually cover the entire world! Even Doutor and Starbucks will have maid waitresses! McDonald's bestselling menu item will be a Teriyaki McMaid Burger! You'll see a maid on the right, a maid on the left, and a maid in every direction! The goal is to have a billion maid cafes around the world! The Cabinet's most influential position will be the Maid Minister! You'll tell a friend who's down on his luck to "go to a maid cafe if you want to feel better! H" W-Wait, I'm not a preacher! Er, ahem. Umm, I just want to promote wonderful maid cafes, that's all. Besides, shouldn't a visit to the maid cafe be part of your itinerary while in Japan anyway? With a bit of courage and curiosity, you'll experience Paradise, Dreamland, and Shangri-la! You'll be missing out on life if you pass up such an opportunity. What percent of life's pleasures will you miss? A hundred percent, of course. In other words, the value of your life will be reduced to zero! The true reason behind the origin of life on Earth and space can be found in maid cafes. The divine truth is found here. All theories are proven here. Everyone please yell, "Maid cafes rock! Maid cafes will eradicate absurdity! Off to the maid cafes, the maid cafes, the maid cafes . . . !" I swear I am not a preacher! Er, I have a feeling some of my Masters will shy away after reading this . . . b-but, I just got a little carried away, you know? Well, I knew I deliberately repeated the word "maid" at least twenty-one times thus far, so I hope the subliminal effect created a growing urge for you to go to a maid cafe. Yes, I'm sure of it! I can brainwash my readers if I repeat the word enough times. Though there are a large number of Masters who believe that going to a maid cafe is just as important as breathing air, I'm also aware of a few shy Masters who probably think, I want to go to a maid cafe, but it's a little intimidating. Don't worry! Today, I prepared a quick introductory course for prospective Masters. If you pay attention to what I have to say, you will be able to visit maid cafes without any problems. Knowing yourself and your enemies will make you a fearless warrior, and earn you a hundred victories! Maid Cafe 101 First, you need to know where to go. Look for a maid cafe in your area. Akihabara used to be the only place with maid cafes, but these days, they're all over JapAaliyah is the author of 'Maid Machinegun' with ISBN 9780345502537 and ISBN 0345502531.