Let's Elope The Definitive Guide to Eloping, Destination Weddings, and Other Creative Wedding Options

Why You Should Elope Couples that've eloped can often pinpoint the exact moment when the idea hit them: the night they came home late from work and cringed at a stack of wedding planners on their bedside table; the phone call from Mom or Dad asking them how the invitation list was coming along; or the end-of-month bill-paying session when they just couldn't make things add up. One of them turns to the other and says the magic words: "Why don't we just elope?" "Wouldn't that be nice!" they agree as they return to the Dreaded Wedding Checklist. But for those who take the idea seriously, something changes. The pressure's off, a cloud has been lifted, and all of a sudden wedding planning feels more the way you hoped it would: romantic, fun, and exciting. Of course it does! That's because you really are planning now, not just following someone else's instructions. All of a sudden it's your wedding again, and ideas race through your head: a barefoot wedding on a tropical beach; on a mountaintop surrounded by wildflowers; in Vegas, surrounded by the friends you really love (and Elvis, of course); or in a small country chapel with just your parents and siblings as witnesses. Anything is possible, but most of all the opportunity to express yourself, to celebrate one of the most important events of your life in the way you want. But I Want a Big Wedding! OK. Go ahead and say it. Scream it at the top of your lungs if that helps. But let's examine what you really want: a romantic, memorable occasion that you can celebrate with your family and close friends, right? Perfectly reasonable, except that you won't get those warm, fuzzy feelings from a traditional big wedding. For starters, romance and large crowds don't go together. And memories? Sorry. In bride-time your wedding day lasts 15 minutes. Then -- whoosh! -- it's gone. That's why people hire photographers, to prove it really happened. Otherwise you'd swear somebody drugged you and tossed you in a limo. Before you dismiss this as a plot to steal your dreams, listen to what the unrivaled master of the event has to say: You out there in bride-land, you sweet thing: are you planning your wedding so that it will be perfect in every detail? Do you expect it to be the happiest day of your life? Miss Manners sincerely hopes not. --Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior "My goodness! Who on earth is she talking about?" you ask. "Not me! My wedding will certainly be different!" Of course it will be different. Just not in the way you think it will. Listen to Miss Manners. She knows what she's talking about. Big weddings are like a family vacation to Mount Everest: a year of painstaking preparation, an exhausting hike to base camp, and then the mad scramble to the summit while the weather holds. When you arrive at the top there's a momentary sense of terrific accomplishment -- I did it! But you're hungry, tired, and sick to death of your traveling companions. After a quick glimpse in all directions, you're ready to get the heck home. Don't let yourself be swayed by the reassuring tones of those "perfect wedding" planners, either, the ones you rushed to buy the day after you got engaged. If anything, their two checklists per chapter should set off warning bells. Do you really want a wedding that requires endless preparation, faultless execution, plus a healthy dose of luck? We hope we've gotten to you in time, because the point of no return comes quickly with traditional weddings, usually within weeks of the engagement announcement. A date is picked, a flurry of phone calls go out to friends and relatives, a site is booked, and before you know it you're committed. You can't turn back and so you have to rationalize the misery. The groom who hates to-do lists starts professing a newfound joy for organizing; the brideShaw, Scott is the author of 'Let's Elope The Definitive Guide to Eloping, Destination Weddings, and Other Creative Wedding Options' with ISBN 9780553380828 and ISBN 0553380826.