Could It Be Autism? A Parent's Guide to the First Signs and Next Steps

Chapter One You Make a Difference You are a parent, not a doctor or a scientist. But, when it comes to your child, you are an expert. You know that little face and whether it lights up when you walk into a room. You know your baby's babbling, burbling voice and would be the first to notice if it suddenly fell silent. You know how your toddler behaves when he sees a new toy, meets a new child, goes to a birthday party, or visits a shopping mall. You know what makes her cry and what makes her laugh. And, while your pediatrician has seen hundreds of sore throats and infected ears, you've seen a few things too. You've seen children playing in parks and squabbling at family dinners. You've seen babies playing peek-a-boo and preschoolers playing house. And you wouldn't be a parent if you had not compared your child to those children--if you had not noticed how your child resembles them and differs from them. Of course, not every difference is a disorder. Far from it. But if your instincts are telling you something is wrong--that something about your child is quite different from other children or that something essential about your child has changed or become increasingly troubling, your instincts are probably right. You Know When Something Is Wrong As part of my work with First Signs, I've spent a lot of time talking with doctors and researchers about the differences between young children with developmental delays and those without them. Time and time again they tell me about one crucial difference. Children with developmental delays have parents who are persistently worried about them. So, if you are worried about how your child is developing, how he or she is learning and behaving, you should take your worry seriously. It could be a warning sign. Parents have been diagnosing their children from early on. They know it, they feel it. They say to me all the time, "I just know something's just not right . . . the way he does this or the way he does that . . ." And they're right, usually. Anne Holmes, director of outreach services at Eden Family of Services, Princeton, N.J. All parents worry about their children sometimes. All occasionally need some reassurance that the quirks they see are just that. One survey found that 70 percent of parents in pediatric waiting rooms had questions about their children's development or behavior. When something really is wrong, though, the worry does not go away. The child's differences don't go away, either. Usually they just become more apparent, more troubling. Some parents whose children are eventually diagnosed with autism and or other developmental disorders realize that their children are different as babies. A few notice specific, clear-cut problems; many others have nagging, vague concerns that are harder to express. From the day I brought him home from the hospital, I knew there was something going on. He couldn't feed, he couldn't suck a bottle. And, as a toddler, he couldn't give kisses. He would go to kiss me and would just bang his face into my mouth. Kathy Bauer of Pennsylvania, mother of Andy, diagnosed with speech apraxia at age three She was five or six months old when I first started feeling something wasn't right. But I couldn't put my finger on it. I felt like I was bonding to her, but she wasn't bonding to me. Becky Wilson of Oregon, mother of Zoe, diagnosed at age four with developmental language disorder and "regulatory disorder with autistic behaviors" Other parents see signs accumulate over time or appear suddenly, often between the first and second year of a child's life. When Evan was fifteen months old I noticed he wasn't behaving like other children of his age. . . . He wasn't interacting with the world like other kids. Susan Sutherland of Massachusetts, mother ofWiseman, Nancy is the author of 'Could It Be Autism? A Parent's Guide to the First Signs and Next Steps', published 2006 under ISBN 9780767919722 and ISBN 0767919726.