Aries North Node People and North Node in the 1st House SPECIAL GIFTS THEY BRING TO RELATIONSHIPS * A loving spirit * Cooperative nature * Interest in the other person * Diplomacy * Fairness * A value for peace and harmony * A giving nature MISCONCEPTIONS THAT BLOCK INTIMACY * "Part of my purpose is to create harmony in my relationships." * "If I'm a nice person and make everyone happy, then I will get love back." * "Since I'm stronger than others, it's up to me to carry things until the other person gets stronger." * "If I create harmony in my relationships, I will feel inner peace." * "If I put the other person first, they will reciprocate by putting me first." * "If others see who I am, they may not like me." * "Other people's image of me affects how I am." * "In a true partnership, people do most things together." COMPLAINTS OF THEIR PARTNERS * "They are too needy of my energy and attention." * "They don't make their own decisions." * "They're very manipulative." * "They're co-dependent; I don't have any space to myself." * "They try to take responsibility for my moods." * "They measure what I do for them against what I do for others." Co-Dependency vs. Independent Self-Identity Aries North Node people have had many past lives in the position of being the support person for someone elsetheir mate, their children, their business partner, etc. Over time, they began to identify themselves as being part of a team, and became dependent on the flow of nurturing energy created in the womb of their relationships. As a result of keeping their focus on the other person, the native has negated their own personal life force and lost touch with their own individual spark. After many incarnations of this pattern, their innate desire for growth and self-discovery became dormant. Although this co-dependent pattern may have worked for them in the past, in order to help these natives heal this unresolved pattern of co-dependency in this lifetime, the flow of reciprocity in relationships isn't working in the way they expect. This is the Universe's way of telling them that they need to grow stronger as an individual, and reclaim their own independent identity. Only then can their relationships become truly satisfying. Due to so many lifetimes of conditioning, these people still tend to believe that their personal happiness is dependent on keeping the other people in their relationships harmonious and happy. But this old pattern cannot produce the results they want; in the end they don't feel loved or happy. In fact, until they become conscious of this co-dependency, they don't know how to partner with self and do things on their own that support their individual happiness and personal growth. Until they gain awareness, Aries North Node people may act out co-dependent tendencies in many ways. Because internally they feel like they can't make it on their own, they're always on the lookout for others to partner with, and they tend to try and jump into co-dependency dynamics very quickly. Also, they often behave in ways that lead the other person to think they aren't competent enough to function without them. They may say things like: "I really can't do this, will you do it?" Instead of taking responsibility for their shortcomings and doing something to correct them, the native expects others to compensate for them. They tend to try to set things up so that anything they don't want to take responsibility for is their partner's responsibility. This blocks intimacy because eventually the other person starts to feel resentful. The truth is that the native CAN be completely functional and responsible, but subconsciously they want their partnSpiller, Jan is the author of 'Cosmic Love', published 2007 under ISBN 9780553383119 and ISBN 0553383116.