What If Someone I Know Is Gay? Answers to Questions About Gay and Lesbian People

9781416949701

1416949704

Introduction What If Someone I Know Is Gay'is an introductory book about gay people. I've tried to do my best to answer a lot of the questions you might have, from "How do you become gay?" to "Can gay people get married?" Some of the questions are very obvious, some not so obvious, and you might even find a few that you think are stupid. But the way I see it, there's no such thing as a stupid question, except the one you don't ask. Many of the questions you'll find in this book are questions I've been asked by friends, family, and colleagues. Other questions have been asked of me in my role as an author by people who have written to me or e-mailed me after reading one of my books. And several of the questions you'll find here have come in response to an e-mail request I sent asking people to contribute their questions. Why did you write this book? An editor at a publishing company read a book that I wrote for adults calledIs It a Choice? Answers to the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay & Lesbian People, and she thought it would be great if I could write a book specifically for young adults. And I was glad to do it, because when it comes to the subject of gay and lesbian people and gay issues, there are a lot of questions that never get asked and a lot of answers that never get offered. I think we'd all be a lot better off if everyone could ask whatever questions they had and could count on getting honest answers in return. I remember being in kindergarten and asking my teacher why a sixth grader was sent to our class to stand in the corner for an hour one morning. I thought it was a perfectly reasonable question. My teacher, whose name I can't recall (I'm sure I'm blocking it), told me to mind my own business. I think it was this embarrassing and hurtful experience that helped fuel my curiosity about life and set me on the path of asking questions for a living. Who is it for? This book is for anyone who knows someone gay. That means it's for everyone, because everyone knows someone who is gay: a sister or brother, parent, teacher, neighbor, classmate, or friend. Or maybe you're gay yourself or think you might be. Of course a lot of people don't realize they know someone who is gay or lesbian because many gay people hide the fact that they're gay. Why? That's a good question, and it's just one of the many that I answer in this book. Who are you? And how did you get to be an expert? Often when I get e-mails from readers they want to know who I am. I'm used to asking other people about their lives and keeping private about my own. But it's only fair if you're reading my book for you to know who is offering the answers, especially because a lot of the answers reflect my personal opinions. (I don't speak for any organizations, political parties, companies, or religious groups. I speak for myself and no one else.) I grew up with my brother and sister in a small neighborhood in Queens, which is a part of New York City. I went to public schools and then to Vassar College, where I majored in urban studies. I have a master's degree in journalism from Columbia University and a second master's degree from Columbia's Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation. I wrote my first book, a guide for male couples, when I was in my late twenties. And I can tell you that I was no expert on gay people at that time, but as I discovered when the book was first published, I had to have answers to the basic questions about gay issues that reporters asked me because in those days, people didn't know a lot about gay people (and the reporters were even more nervous asking the questions than I was answering them!). So I became an expert through my work, but since I'm also gay, I've had a lot of incentive to learn about gay people and gay life so I could better understand myself -- especially sinc