Knot Complete Guide to Weddings in the Real World The Ultimate Source of Ideas, Advice, and Relief for the Bride and Groom and Those Who Love Them

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CHAPTER ONE The Adventure Begins There's nothing more fun than the week you get engaged. Having a secret, practically exploding with excitement and anticipation, blurting out the news to your best pals, letting your families in on it all. There are a few details to attend to, but your biggest task right now is to linger on cloud nine! Engagement Length When your feet finally hit the ground again, the first thing to consider is how long your engagement will be. It'll depend on a couple of factors, such as your ideal wedding date and how much time you'll realistically need to prepare the wedding of the millennium. A typical engagement lasts from six months to a year, but many couples stray outside those boundaries--if you want to get married next Tuesday or two years from today, do it! In any case, no matter how long your engagement is, build in some break time from all things wedding-related--you don't want to be drowning in wedding planning every single minute from right now until the big day itself. Granted, your nuptials are about the most exciting thing coming or going, but they're not the be-all, end-all, and you need to remind yourselves periodically that normal life is happening simultaneously. You'll be a lot less stressed out if you take your mind off all things canape, carnation, and calypso from time to time. Your single friends, and those long-married, too, also will appreciate a respite from licking envelopes and hearing about the woes of finding the perfect wedding venue. It will make your life immensely more pleasurable and ensure that you remain healthily grounded in the real world--which is, after all, where you're going to be living once you descend gracefully from cloud nine. Spilling the Beans It's time to announce that you're taking the plunge. You could run buck naked together across the field during the live broadcast of the Superbowl, with the words "We're getting hitched!" tattooed across your chests. That way everyone you've ever met will get the news. On second thought, a little decorum can go a long way (and your families will probably appreciate finding out a bit more privately, too). Where the Words Come From *Fiance/e: Old French fiance, a promise *Betrothed: Be + the Old English treowth, truth *Husband: Middle English husbonde, householder *Wife: Old English wif, woman, or possibly based on Indo-European weip, "the hidden or veiled person" Talking to Your Parents Share the news with your immediate families first. Unless your folks are already great friends, your best bet is to tell each set of parents separately so that they (1) will be able to express their emotions freely and (2) won't have to deal with the surprise of the engagement and the possible discomfort of having to hug all their new in-laws simultaneously. Traditionally--if you must know--the bride's family gets first dibs on the news. The greatest way to let Mom and Dad in on your big secret is together, especially if they know and like your sweetie. Invite them over for dinner, or wait until your next planned get-together, and blurt it out. In your perfect universe, they'll leap from their chairs to squeeze you both, crying for joy. (Of course, if you get engaged on a trip or live far apart and you just can't, by all means, call!) If your parents don't know your intended, this is the perfect time to organize a visit home. However, we don't recommend introducing your one-and-only and announcing your engagement on the same occasion. If you can, wait at least until the second visit. Otherwise, whether you're pressed for time or simply feeling awkward, it's A-OK to go solo when telling your parents about the engagement; in fact, they may appreciate your discretion. Likewise, you may want to break the news without you