Killing the Buddha A Heretic's Bible

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Introduction: Mortal, Eat This Scroll! Late morning, just before lunch, one of Lin Chi's monks comes up to him half-crazed, out of his mind with ecstasy, babbling about Buddha. Says he's seen him. Says he was just walking down the road when suddenly: Buddhamind. Enlightenment. Nirvana. The big payoff. The monk can't stop talking about it. Lin Chi strikes a match, lights his pipe, takes a long drag. Leaves the monk hanging, waiting for his reward. Instead, Lin Chi blows a cloud of smoke, reaches out, and smacks him."You meet the Buddha on the road," Lin Chi says, "kill him."Imagine the monk's face. Better yet, imagine your own: You've been to church, you've gone to the zendo, you took your bat mitzvah money and ran. You're an atheist, or you're an agnostic, or you're an orthodox believer without a cause. Maybe you've tried not to think about it. You've opted for sex, drugs, and electronica, you've opted for a career; you're poor and you never had any options. You've run away from your family, you've started a family, you've given up on God, Family, and Nation. And then, when you were minding your own business, getting on with things, you stumbled upon -- something. Him, Her, a Higher Power, Buddha, Jesus, the Shekhina, Shiva. The mysterium tremendum, the big white whale. And even though you're no seeker, you weren't looking and you didn't ask to find, you had to admit: God is Great. Allah Akbar! Holy Ghost Power.To which Lin Chi says: Super. You found it. Now you can kill it. The Buddha you meet is not the true Buddha but an expression of your longing. If this Buddha is not killed, he will only stand in your way.When Lin Chi contributed the idea of deicide to his godless religion a thousand years ago, he was talking not just about a long-dead teacher who had come to be known as Buddha but about the dominant ideologies of his day: One True Path, One True Story, One True Anything. The preachers and the gurus, the Christian Coalition and the secular masses, the heart that wants what it wants and the mind that always thinks better: These are the Buddhas we meet on the road, the Buddhas we know and love and listen to, the Buddhas we all are. Faced with modern-day atheists or fundamentalists or guys who thump thousand-year-old Zen aphorisms hard as any Bible, Lin Chi would probably say the same thing: Don't be a chump. A single story never explained anything.What do you say about yourself, for example, to explain the things you do? Forget the hypothetical -- let's start here, with this book. We had more reasons for making it than there are words between the covers. One of us is a Jew raised by a Pentecostal Hindu Buddhist, one is a son of a Catholic priest and a former nun. The priest kept the vestments in the front hallway and held mass in the dining room; the Hindu Buddhist asked Charismatic Christians to pray over her as she lay dying. Between us we've lived in monasteries, warehouses, hermit shacks, luxury condos. We've worked as truck drivers, casino hands, carpenters, court-martial reporters. We met when we both worked at a Yiddish library, for which we pulled books out of attics and Dumpsters, dragging artifacts of the old world into the new.That's more or less what we had in mind when we began talking about killing the Buddha, and about what a Bible filled with heresy might look like, and about what Bibles and Buddhas, killings and heresies, had to do with each other. We had lost faith in the way faith gets talked about in America, the way it's seen as either innocuous spirituality or dangerous fanaticism, perfume or mustard gas. After years of writing about religion, for newspapers and magazines and in letters to each other, we'd come to think that it is almost always both: Show us the truth and we'll show you a lie, prove God is dead and we promise a resurrection.Right after Lin Chi told the monk to kill Buddha, he said: "And burn all the