Don't Be That Girl

9781416949084

1416949089

Agenda Girl You probably know at least one Agenda Girl. I certainly have met enough to consider myself something of an expert on the kind of woman who asks me how many children I'd like and if I could ever see myself settling down (and when) during our second date -- or sooner. I once had a woman ask me during the first thirty minutes of our first date if I was ready for marriage and children because she felt like her clock was ticking and she didn't want to waste her time with men who weren't "serious" about dating. Take it from a guy, that is not how you want to start off your first date. The Agenda Girl is the one who's been planning her wedding since she was old enough to count to ten bridesmaids. Her hobbies include readingModern Brideand designing her dream engagement ring on adiamondisforever.com. (Don't ask me how I know this!) She secretly seethes with envy every time another friend gets engaged, but is first in line for the bouquet toss at the wedding. She's known exactly how many children she wants as well as at what age she wants to have them since she was fifteen -- unfortunately, she hasn't revised those ideas since. She has a list of requirements for her potential husband that is at least a mile long, although, in case of emergency (e.g. she's twenty-nine and still not married), she will gladly settle for someone who allows her to check her top five boxes: 1 - decent looks 2 - advanced degree in a prestigious profession 3 - steady job in a lucrative field (what's the use of a law degree if you're just going to waste it at a nonprofit?) 4 - good family 5 - ready to settle down There you have it, everything an Agenda Girl needs for a real, honest-to-goodness fairy-tale romance. And guess what? I can tell all this about her within an hour of our first date. How? Because that is usually how long it takes her to decide whether or not she wants to start grooming me for the role of Mr. Agenda Girl. Of course, not every Agenda Girl is quite that obvious. Plenty of women enter into relationships with open minds only to find themselves getting hung up on the idea of marriage before the time is ripe -- meaning, before their boyfriend is ready. In these cases, the relationship often self-destructs when the agenda comes to light in the form of premature demands and a relationship-ending ultimatum. Could You Be an Agenda Girl? Even if you're nowhere near as extreme as the girl I just described, Agenda Girls come in all shapes and sizes. Answer these true/false questions to find out if the bridal shoe fits...and be honest! 1. T / F I am almost always the one who introduces the subject of marriage and children. 2. T / F I often find myself thinking about what we'll do on future dates during our first few outings. 3. T / F I have actually practiced signing my name using my boyfriend's last name. 4. T / F I feel sorry for the losers, er, I mean women, who are over thirty and still not married. 5. T / F My biological clock sounds more like a ticking time bomb. If I don't have children within the next few years, I'll explode. 6. T / F My first dates are usually a lot like job interviews. 7. T / F If I don't get married by a certain age, I'll feel like an old maid. 8. T / F It is important for me to figure out fairly quickly whether or not I would marry a guy. 9. T / F If my boyfriend didn't propose to me within eighteen months, I would leave and find someone who would. 10. T / FThe Rulesis my dating bible. Scoring: 0-2 True:While you want to get married eventually, you are not turning guys off with an obvious marriage agenda. 3-5 True:So maybe you don't have your imaginary babies' names all picked out, but what you do have is a minor case of Agenda Girlitis. Take my word, even a minor case can be