Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication

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Why are we so fascinated by soap operas and gossip magazines? Why does it seem that we have an almost morbid and voyeuristic curiosity about the seedy and unsavory aspects of people's interpersonal interactions? Perhaps it is because we recognize shades of those unpleasant features in our own relationships. Perhaps also, we like to learn from other's mistakes. Either way, the underbelly of our social interactions reveals a myriad of distortions, deceptions, and disconfirmations. Collectively, we may refer to this realm of communication as the "dark side." Most textbooks on interpersonal relations and communication concern themselves with trite advice on topics such as clarity of expression, openness, altruism, trust, assertiveness, empathy, love, and so forth. However, people's actual relationships with others appear to be littered with deception, dilemmas, ambiguity, violence, predicaments, betrayals, and hurtful messages. This is the first book that attempts to unify these topics under the metaphor of the "dark side" of interpersonal relations. The dark side is suggestive of the darker side of human nature--that which we hope to hold in check, but nonetheless escapes to complicate our lives. It also consists of the areas of human interaction on which scholars have generally failed to shed light. In examining such topics as incompetence, hurtful messages, double binds and paradox, equivocation and ambiguity, conversational dilemmas, predicaments and embarrassment, deception, relational transgressions and betrayal, family privacy invasions, troubled family interaction, and physical and psychological abuse, the chapters in this text spotlight a variety of topics relevant to the dark side of social and personal relationships. In the process, it is discovered that often what is assumed to be dark and malevolent can have its benevolent side, and what are generally presumed to be healthy, productive forms of relating can be destructive and pathological.