Calculating God

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Chapter 1 I know, I knowit seemed crazy that the alien had come to Toronto. Sure, the city is popular with tourists, but you'd think a being from another world would head for the United Nationsor maybe to Washington. Didn't Klaatu go to Washington in Robert Wise's movieThe Day the Earth Stood Still? Of course, one might also think it's crazy that the same director who didWest Side Storywould have made a good science-fiction flick. Actually, now that I think about it, Wise directedthreeSF films, each more stolid than its predecessor. But I digress. I do that a lot latelyyou'll have to forgive me. And, no, I'm not going seni≤ I'm only fifty-four, for God's sake. But the pain sometimes makes it hard to concentrate. I was talking about the alien. And why he came to Toronto. It happened like this... * * * The alien's shuttle landed out front of what used to be the McLaughlin Planetarium, which is right next door to the Royal Ontario Museum, where I work. I say it used to be the planetarium because Mike Harris, Ontario's tight-fisted premier, cut the funding to the planetarium. He figured Canadian kids didn't have to know about spacea real forward-thinking type, Harris. After he closed the planetarium, the building was rented out for a commercialStar Trekexhibit, with a mockup of the classic bridge set inside what had been the star theater. As much as I likeStar Trek, I can't think of a sadder comment on Canadian educational priorities. A variety of other private-sector concerns had subsequently rented the space, but it was currently empty. Actually, although it was perhaps reasonable for an alien to visit a planetarium, it turned out he really wanted to go to the museum. A good thing, too: imagine how silly Canada would have looked if first contact were made on our soil, but when the extraterrestrial ambassador knocked on the door, no one was home. The planetarium, with its white dome like a giant igloo, is set well back from the street, so there's a big concrete area in front of itperfect, apparently, for landing a small shuttle. Now, I didn't see the landing firsthand, even though I was right next door. But four peoplethree tourists and a localdid get it on video, and you could catch it endlessly on TV around the world for days afterward. The ship was a narrow wedge, like the slice of cake someone takes when they're pretending to be on a diet. It was solid black, had no visible exhaust, and had dropped silently from the sky. The vessel was maybe thirty feet long. (Yeah, I know, I knowCanada's a metric country, but I was born in 1946. I don't think anyone of my generationeven a scientist, like meever became comfortable with the metric system; I'll try to do better, though.) Rather than being covered with robot puke, like just about every spaceship in every movie sinceStar Wars, the landing craft's hull was completely smooth. No sooner had the ship set down than a door opened in its side. The door was rectangular, but wider than it was tall. And it opened by sliding upan immediate clue that the occupant probably wasn't human; humans rarely make doors like that because of our vulnerable heads. Seconds later, out came the alien. It looked like a giant, golden-brown spider, with a spherical body about the size of a large beach ball and legs that splayed out in all directions. A blue Ford Taurus rear-ended a maroon Mercedes-Benz out front of the planetarium as their drivers gawked at the spectacle. Many people were walking by, but they seemed more dumbfounded than terrifiedalthough a