Art of Being a Woman A Simple Guide to Everyday Love And Laughter

Chapter 1 1 You (A Short Exhortation) You make a spirited, life-affirming statement when you do not apologize for being who you are. Indeed, to watch a woman take hold of a situation is a treat, her display of perspicacity the kind of joyful spectacle that makes one feel that there is hope for humanity, after all. When you play it safe, though, the universe becomes a little duller. The role of the mind in securing happiness is often underestimated. In America, we are more gratified by our accomplishments than by our ideas. However, for you and me, there are better uses for our mental dexterity than doing crossword puzzles. Downplaying our intelligence is cheating ourselves of one of the finest forms of gratification legally available: that of being a freethinking individual. The French, in contrast, derive great pleasure from figuring things out, their Cartesian approach the source of endless satisfaction to them. Even though their famous joie de vivre is an emotion, as far as they are concerned, its origin is in the brain. It is a brief, unexpected thrill, as when you chuckle because you get the full impact of a joke, or you are tickled pink because you grasp the elegant absurdity of a paradox. Too many of us are afraid to deal with the fact that we can run circles around the other half of the world. Warned by Dorothy Parker that "men seldom make passes / at girls who wear glasses," we will strategically undermine our intelligence in public in order not to overpower or intimidate our entourage. Flirtatiousness is no substitute for mental acuity. The high-pitched voice, the reluctance to make eye contact, the restless body language, the pursed lips, the playing with your hair, the tossing aside of the long mane? It fools no one. A woman is most impressive when she puts aside her intellectual modesty and self-deprecating mannerisms and struts her stuff in broad daylight. That woman is you when you decide to speak up at a meeting and the words that come out of your mouth are astute, earnest, and persuasive. She is you when you pass a big rig on a long stretch of highwaypedal to the metal, elbow in the wind, clearheaded, your gaze locked on the horizon. She is you when you explain to your dad how to order plane tickets online and at the end of the conversation he says, "I love you." And she is you when you face your image in the mirror in the morning, a look of tacit connivance in your eyes, your mascara raised in the air as if you were about to make a toast. So use your head, and your heart will follow. 2 Other women (A Self-Esteem Primer) Between women, a lot of silent admiration passes back and forth, each furtive glance reinforcing the sense of specialness that makes us who we are. All day long, in what can best be described as a voracious lovefest, we observe each other ceaselessly, noting every subliminal fashion detail, absorbing countless tips about hair and makeup, and evaluating every wardrobe do and don't with a connoisseur's eye. What some of us might experience as female competitiveness is in fact an ongoing learning process. Calling it jealousy or envy is a misnomer. Granted, women often seem rapacious in their quest for the sort of information that might alleviate some gnawing hunger in their psyche. But the motive that drives them as they scrutinize the coded data embedded in the other person's physical appearance is essentially a subconscious desire for self-knowledge, not a primordial urge to outdo potential rivals and eliminate them. In fact, it does not take muchonly a small mind shiftto see other women as the teachers they really are instead of the fierce competitors they are sometimes portrayedVienne, Veronique is the author of 'Art of Being a Woman A Simple Guide to Everyday Love And Laughter', published 2006 under ISBN 9780307337245 and ISBN 0307337243.