CAMPUS LIFE Victor the beaver's guide to the interwebs

Hot for Teacher – How to Seduce Your Professor

Apr 15 2012 at 4:37 am by

teacher and studentsLet’s face it, Hot for Teacher wasn’t just a great Van Halen song, it has become commonplace to the point where we see a controversial news story on the issue about once every week or better. Whether this is because teachers and students have been getting hotter or because society is becoming more accepting of blooming romance between professor or teacher and pupil is difficult to tell (though let’s keep it between consenting adults, shall we?).

The Fast and the Flirious — How to Tell if Your Professor Likes You

Okay, maybe “the fast and the flirtacious” would fit better but who doesn’t like a dated Vin Diesel joke squeezed in for good measure when approaching the topic of some serious sexiness. Coming back to the topic at hand, the most obvious first step is:

Attraction Assessment

Think about this whole scenario in some of dating-sim sense (although it’s probably best to keep your otaku-like obsession with Japanese sex and dating simulators on the DL), the first thing you’ll need to do if you’d like to hook up with your prof is to figure out whether the feeling is mutual.

How can you tell?

The first indication might be your grades. While it is always a bit titillating (huh, huh) to think about being that F student who sleeps their way to the dirty A, good grades are usually a sign of a positive impression. This is also the easiest step to take because it doesn’t require that you gawk at the object of your academic desire too openly, which comes next.

Observing your professor’s body language while they’re answering your questions or talking to you about your work is key. Men who make long and direct eye contact and lean in may be displaying signs of attraction. Likewise, female professors who shave their legs might be making a similar statement (more seriously, look for ladies to laugh or lightly touch you on the arm or knee to display interest).

Grades and gazes aren’t quite enough to really make a concrete judgment on, however. You’ll need to be a bit more aggressive in most cases to really know your odds. Most times, it is best to start making use of their office hours to drop by for some extra face time as well as some extra credit — this allows you the chance to have a more casual conversation one-on-one to see if any chemistry develops.

Post-Secondary Seduction – 3 popular approaches when cramming for cramming

1. The All-In: Yea, it sounds tough, crudely sexual, and relates to the manly game of poker. This approach is for the ballsy ladies and gents out there who have no sense of shame, and would hit on your professor in front of the entire lecture hall without batting an eye. This might work about 10% of the time — a generous estimate. If it fails, becomes the “Crash and Burn Beyond All Hope of Repair”, along with your grades.

all in sexy student

2. The Shy Student: On the other end of the spectrum, we have the student who is so mortified by their infatuation with their hot prof that they almost radiate an unnecessary guilt about the whole crush. Sure, it might be a bit embarrassing for the whole class to hear about your leather and lace fantasies regarding the lecturer, but they’ll never happen if you keep it “neat and discreet“.  The shy student can be extremely endearing (especially when employed by cute girls, men who use this tactic may find success with male professors but significantly less fortune with females), but can also be too timid to even try. Most of these desires die on the mental drawing board.

shy girl

3. The Adonis: Straight outta high school and straight into Intro to English Romance, this Romeo is an honors student — with distinction. Possessing all of the knowledge of the world (as any late teenager with a smartphone and basic reading ability) at his disposal, the Adonis sends mildly spicy e-mails and takes the time to meet up with his professor for coffee (or wine) at a local pub. Preferably with a live (but not too loud, you still need to be able to talk about smart stuff) band to enhance the hipster aura of intellectual stimulation. In other words, the perfect storm for play. The Adonis is more likely than most types to win the heart of his greatest desire.

handsome male student

While these three types may be among the most common approaches, surely there are others. Maybe you have your own story to share? After all, having an attraction to one’s professors or lecturers is one of the most common rites of passage in college life, one fraught through as well with a sense of danger, risk, and reward. Bragging rights for some and long-standing relationships for others, and those poor wretches whose plot was dashed upon the rocks, left scrambling to save face and grades. Is it right or wrong to shack up with students? Who’s to decide?

The discussion is both controversial and common, an outrage and a reality. Truth and fiction and tall-tales spun by student and scholar alike, vying for rights to the steamiest campus romance.

I’d love to hear yours. If you have your own tale of love among the stacks, drop me a note in the comments below!

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  1. well, I’m actually a teenager. My teacher is a man of 40…yes he’s old but I love him. May you please give me some advice? I love him so much it has been 4 years of my life. And plus he still doesn’t have a wife…I really love him :( But I’m not sure if he can love me back…he compliments me by saying that “i’m beautiful’ and ‘have the potential–’ but i still don’t get him.

  2. I have this crush on my teacher not gonna say who and hes realy cute and I try and flirt he smiles at me everytime I see him and I say hi and he tells me hi back and he keeps smilling and I walk of,all nerves and walk away with a smille and see if he sees it. I wore a dress and he complemented me twice and I think he wad kinda flirtying I smilled and walked away cause I cant look him in the face when he does that to me I hope he know that I like him….

  3. @ veronica … babe ur goin thru a phase !
    and its a phase u really gotta go thru !
    so here i am …..
    firstly , let him know ur into him
    say somethin like ” sir , id lke a private tution ” or smthn like dat
    get it private
    once u get thT oppurtunity
    taLk to him abt ur feelings

    this will result in two things ,
    one – hel either fall for it and you’l live happily ever after !
    two – he’l sit and make you understand how infatuation works !

    all the best “)

  4. @Veronica

    In your quest to seduce your teacher, you might first want to learn how to write at an eight-year-old level.

  5. I do agree with all the ideas you have presented in your post. They’re really convincing and will certainly work. Still, the posts are very short for beginners. Could you please extend them a little from next time? Thanks for the post.

  6. Here’s some better advice. Don’t.