CAMPUS LIFE Victor the beaver's guide to the interwebs

Get Paid For Being Tall and Other Awesome Scholarships For College

May 12 2010 at 12:50 pm by

The average tuition cost at a public college for the 2009-2010 school year is just over $7,000. Going to a private school? That’ll cost you over $26,000.

Are your parents famous movie stars? Rock musicians? Inheritors of a large portion of the SPAM empire? Congratulations! You don’t have to worry about paying for your higher education. For the other 99% of us, finding money for college is one of the hardest things to do. That’s where scholarships can help.

But there are just so many essays you can write about how much you love community service and studying the mating habits of Panthera leo and Panthera tigris. If you’re looking for scholarships to apply for that use a bit more creativity (or in some cases, just being yourself), check out the following list.

For Those Who Mark Their Height Against The Wall…
From being able to reach the top shelf at the store to possibly dunking on your friends in a game of pickup basketball, being tall has its advantages. But did you know you don’t need to be athletic to earn money for college with your height? Tall Clubs International (“A Social Organization for Tall People!”) gives away up to $1,000 to men 6’2 and above and women 5’10 or taller. Just visit this site for all the details.

You didn’t think I was going to forget the vertically challenged out there, did you? The Little People of America also give out money for college to their members. All you need to do is be shorter than 4’10 and fill out this form. After all those years of having to put up with “Lollipop Guild” jokes, you can at least get a small amount of payback. No pun intended.

For Those Who Love Sheep…
I’m not talking about counting them during a quick study period nap. The yearly “Make It With Wool” scholarship competition dishes out cash to students that create their own woolen works of art. Don’t let the difficulty of this competition scare you off. Anything you make will most likely end up better than my entry last year: steel wool underwear. That was the most uncomfortable day of classes ever.

For Those Who Will Most Likely Change Their Name When Married…
If your last name happens to be “Zolp”, then I’ve got some free money for you. For the other 304 million of you in the US, no dice. The best part about the Zolp scholarship is that the stipulation that “Scholarship amounts will vary depending upon fund availability and the number of eligible recipients”. Really? How much would it suck if the one year you get the scholarship, the famous Zolp quintuplets of North Charleston show up at your college?

For Those Who Love Cows…
Don’t worry. This scholarship doesn’t require you to make leather goods or milk anything. The National Beef Ambassador Program provides up to $1,000 in scholarship money to students that give a presentation about beef nutrition or production to a panel of judges. If you win, not only do you get the scholarship money, but you will “have the opportunity to speak at designated engagements”. And everyone knows how crazy the infamous “Beef Lover World Tour” in ’86 was. I hear Bacon was the opener at select dates.

Don’t worry. If you thought that joke was lame, I’ve got plenty more coming up that are even worse.

For Those Who Know What I’m Going To Say Next…
The Excellence in Predicting the Future Award can net you up to $400 for college. But you already knew I was going to say that, didn’t you?

For Those Who Hate Leaving The Couch…
I’ve got one more for you. Hate having to work? Hate even having to move your mouse around too much? Do I have a scholarship for you! Valore Books gives away a Free Textbook Scholarship. All you have to do to enter? Just buy something from us and you’re automatically entered. Come on, we have books starting at one penny. You literally cannot have a cheaper price than that. Doing so would rip a hole in the time/space continuum. And you know what the outcome of that is? Zombies. Is that something you really want to be responsible for?

“Valore Books is the best place to buy and sell used textbooks. I mean…BRAAAAINS!!!”

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