Sexting! C’mon, you know you’ve done it. Someone you met online? That cute guy or girl you know (and usually after you’ve had a few drinks)? That long distance relationship? If you’ve done it you may find the 5 personality types below familiar… and hopefully you aren’t the last one, and if you are, hopefully you don’t have my number!

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Not to sound patriotic, but nothing says some good ol’ fashioned American lovin’ like a college commercial that doesn’t scream the cheesy and rehearsed voice-over and the trite message about how the college is “for you.”

Seriously! All we want is a college where we can have fun! (And learn, yes, learning is important) Who cares how good the academics are. Who cares what scholarships we can get.

What We Want Is a School That Screams America!

Sorry. Couldn’t help it. I had to get patriotic.

But enough of the hand over the heart thing and the whole “God Bless America” speech. No, I’m not the President.

I will, however, tell you that I am going to reveal four college commercials that utterly speak America to us – either deep within our groins with a very slight bit of sex appeal, or in our laughing hearts as we smile at how goofy us Americans can be.

You might find one that’s a quick burst of psychotic energy, lasting only 30 seconds. And another will drag for about 17 minutes but will make you burst out laughing so hard that your organs will implode.

Isn’t that what America is about? So let’s begin. Your future awaits!

Number 4 on the List: “Full Sail University: Rooms”

The big thing about commercials for colleges these days is the technology. In fact, that screams our demographic! Everyone’s got their iPods, smartphones, tablets, and microchips implanted in their brains allowing them to chat with aliens in outer space.

This particular commercial is no different. Talk about “The Matrix”! Seeing the rooms morph in and out like that is like science fiction. Only the entire point is to stress the important message: you can learn anywhere with Full Sail!

Pretty nifty.

Number 3 on the List: “Bond University: Chase Your Ambition”

Is it any wonder that it’s called “Bond” University? Makes you think of 007, doesn’t it? Pull out your spy gun and let’s get ready for some action, because it seems like this commercial’s all about action! Sean Connery, watch out. Roger Moore, step aside. Pierce Brosnan, eat your heart out. And Daniel Craig, eat my dust!

There’s an obvious point to the creative message of the action-packed chase, though. And you’ll get it. I would just hope that it doesn’t take so much damn effort in real life!

Or there might be accident insurance claims in the future.

Number 2 on the List: “University of Lincoln: Boring Lecture!”

This commercial, by far, taps into our need for something ridiculously bizarre. Why? Let’s put it this way: it’s about a lecture hall that’s on fire. No, I mean literally bursting into flames.

But why? Why would anyone want to set a lecture hall on fire? Is it that boring? On the contrary…. This is a play on a figure of speech, people! By ‘on fire,’ it obviously means ‘exciting,’ ‘thrilling,’ ‘3-pointer at the buzzer’ sort of on fire!

Silly rabbit. Trix are for kids. (Just don’t set the Trix on fire)

Number 1 on the List: “That’s Why I Chose Yale”

Okay, so look – musicals can be fun. No, I’m not gay – how dare you make an assumption. It’s just a fact that musical-type art forms for productions and film can actually be quite entertaining! Think of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” or “Scrubs” or “Grey’s Anatomy” or “How I Met Your Mother,” those TV shows that each did an episode in musical format. It’s kinda cool.

The bottom line, though, about this prestigious university’s format for a commercial is it totally revamps the whole boring “university information session” with the presenter guy wearing a cheesy, geeky sort of old-school fraternity (without the booze) outfit and a pair of glasses, telling a crowd of people about Yale. Oh, fun.

Yes, it was a lot of fun watching them all sing and dance! Be prepared for Broadway, Yale.

See What I Mean? Creativity. Originality. Coolness.

No college commercial should be boring. And these four are everything but. As it should be. Because the truth is experiencing college is not boring.

When you can strip your clothes off in the middle of an open courthouse at 12 AM and run around skipping while singing some Justin Bieber for the sake of pledging a frat house, you’d know right away that college is anything but boring!

Still passed out from that hangover? Such is the college life, dear. Now bend over and take it like a man (or woman). Because the bottom line is college is work! Work, work, work, work, work.

And there’s no reason it shouldn’t be. You know why?

You’re Preparing for Your Future Career!

All right. I’ll spill it for you. Last time you were here reading these titular tit-pinching orgasmic words of phenomenal imagery, you were engulfing yourself in that all-American idea of the college internship.

Now I know what you’re thinking. At first you thought it was all funny. And it might have sounded true, based on how I was writing it. I can be persuasive that way.

But in the long run, it all sounded too good to be true, obviously. Internships can’t be that good. Right?

Well, Check Out These Five Amazing Internships You Can Land….

As long as you’re a college junior, senior, or recent grad, these are fair game. No shit. Believe me, you’re going to think they’re shit when you read them. But trust me – they’re real.

We’ll start with the fifth on the list:

The Bermuda Institute of Ocean Sciences

Boring! ….Right? Wrong.

This is a nonprofit institute started by Harvard and NYU literally over a century ago. And if you’re a student interested in environmental science and oceanography, you’re going to want to jump on this one.

If you thought lecture halls were boring, you were right; they are. That’s why BIOS (Bermuda Institute of Ocean Sciences) offers an internship to students who want to study ocean science right off the coast of a North Atlantic Island….

Yep. That’s what the BIOS is all about. In addition, VIP interns can take research cruises to the Antarctic (no kidding, swear to God) as well as scuba dive around St. George’s. For those that like the real science of all of it, an intern may also have the chance to try out new technology, such as a deep sea mooring, the latest in underwater vehicle innovation, and satellite oceanography.

It’s Clive Cussler’s Dirk Pitt in real life. And if you’ve read the books, Dirk Pitt gets a lot of ladies (or if Dirk Pitt were named Diana Pitt, she’d get a lot of dudes).

South West Airlines

And speaking of traveling, know this: if there was one airline in operation today that could be infamous for major partying above 50,000 feet, that would be South West Airlines. Why?

Well, for starters, they have what’s called the No Limits Internship Program. If you’re majoring in aviation or working on a degree that’ll lead to a profession in the travel industry or hospitality industry, this’ll be your internship.

Not only is this a paid internship, but you can also participate in what is called “Intern Happy Hour.” Go figure on what that means, but in all honesty it sounds like fun! Flight attendants are hot when you think about it.

That’s not all, though – in addition, this program offers a “Not-So-Amazing Race” consisting of obstacle courses and something about marshmallows. I don’t know – it’s classified. I’d tell you, but I’d have to kill you.

Don’t forget the slammin’ company parties (those pilots and attendants sure know how to shake an ass). And let’s not forget this rather lovely perk…. Free flights! Yes. You can fly anywhere – for free.

So thank you for flying South West Airlines. We hope you enjoyed the ride. We know we did.

Columbia Records

And speaking of sore knees and crotches, imagine getting to attend some of the wildest late-night rock concerts and interview some of the hottest stars ever to grace a stage. Now imagine you could do that…as an intern!

This is the cream of the crop of the entertainment industry. And, boy, is it a wild one. We’re talking semen-sweaty groupies and hot ladies on stage, wild nights with crazy alcohol at some of the most star-studded hotels ever built by man and a chance to rub shoulders with some of the biggest party animal, Jim Morrison type celebrities in the music industry.

Interns for Columbia Records actually do this. No joke.

Sometimes interns may have the privilege of scouting for new bands, too. Imagine the clout on that one. Who knows – you may discover the next Justin Bieber.

Allure Fashion Magazine

And while we’re knee deep in the musky scent of the entertainment industry, we should take a trip to this stunningly alluring company. Think “The Devil Wears Prada” or “Ugly Betty.” Only the reality is these internships aren’t as ‘lowly’ as these shows make them out to be.

Allure Fashion Magazine currently has an internship available – so for those involved in the fashion industry, you better jump on it! Or the Devil will indeed wear Prada. And you know the Devil can be a bitch in Prada.

Ralph Lauren can be your friend and save you from the Devil and Prada as you realize that there are many perks involved with a media internship –

Such as boatloads of free merchandise, massive office parties, celebs showing up regularly like clockwork. Imagine kickin’ it with Scarlett Johansson or Julianne Hough, or Hugh Jackman or Zac Efron…

Take a cold shower…. Please, there are kids reading this!

Google, Inc.

Do I have to even explain this one? Is it really that necessary?

Needless to say, if you’re majoring in something involving media or computers or anything remotely connected to the internet industry, you may run into the opportunity to intern at Google, Inc., the mega-monster of the World Wide Web.

source: http://www.nima.co/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/google_girl.jpg

First off, an internship with Google goes for 11 weeks. It’s competitively paid. Strike a bull’s eye on that one already (and we haven’t even gotten to the details of this internship!). Paid internships are always the best.

But this is the best part of the internship Google offers…. They don’t care what your major is!!

Seriously. You can major in butt juice if you want, and they’ll consider you.

In other words, for 11 weeks, you’ll be traveling, receiving free gourmet breakfasts, lunches, dinners. Massages, your very own game room, rock climbing, and evening cruises are also included.

No, I’m not on drugs. No, I’m not hallucinating. Although you’d be thinking these things while participating in your ‘internship’ for Google, Inc. Talk about a major download of fun information….

Wipe the Sweat Off Your Brow as You Recover From Your Literary Orgasm

Was it good for you? Good.

You’ve just read an insider’s look on some of the wildest internships in the universe. If there ever was a reason to go to college, these five internships would be it.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Or put that in your bong and drink it. Just make sure that once you’re done with the pipe and bong that you bring it on the cruise ship, on a plane, to a concert, at a celebrity party, or in the middle of cyberspace paradise.

It would then be even more fun.

The narcissist, the man child, the gold digger, the basement dweller, and the freaky creepy stalker – Five Freaky Sexting Personalities!

Sexting is perhaps the most talked about byproduct of the digital age, permeated with smartphones, tablet computers, and social networking sites that provide ample opportunity for sexy text messaging kept – hopefully – private between the two people involved.

Fact is, everybody’s doin’ it. The only question is – what kind of sexter are you?

#1: The Basement Dweller

The basement dweller (aka “neckbeard”) is one of the lesser known species of sexters, only emerging from their mother’s den in the basement to stock up on Doritos and Mountain Dew and occasionally to leer at real live girls. Sexting is the perfect way for the basement dweller to appear confident, macho, and most of all attractive to women without having to expose their web of lies in “meatspace”. Problem is, these guys aren’t very good actors.

A typical sext from one of these fine gentlemen might look something like this:

Popular example(s): Raj from The Big Bang Theory, McLovin’ from Superbad.

#2: The Naughty Narcissist

The naughty narcissist is one of the most common sexters out there – he can be a college frat boy or a high powered corporate executive with more hair on his (back / ass) than on his balding dome. Blessed by the power of a high end Blackberry, iPhone, or superphone – the naughty narcissist is truly in his element. The only problem is – they care more about talking themselves up than they do about tapping that booty, IRL or SMS (srs!). Conversations can be lengthy and often one-sided. An example:

Popular example: Ron Burgundy, That annoying guy in your office with the BMW.

#3: The Sexy Texty Tease (aka. The Gold Digger. No, I’m not paying you anything, Kanye)

Ladies can be just as guilty as men (usually moreso – I’m looking at you, Eve) when it comes to bad sexting etiquette and so it’s only fair to include at least one female archetype. The sexty texty tease, a nice way of saying something else, is a coquettish and ultimately selfish creature. Do you see a pattern here?

Somewhat related to the naughty narcissist, the tease is actually more dangerous because they actually make an effort to show interest in their prey rather than simply using them as a replacement for their usual conversation partner (the wall). Further, most men turn into play-doh at any sexual suggestion from a woman and the tease uses this to great advantage – see below.

Popular example: Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian – pretty-much any female who shows up in a reality TV show.

#4: The Man Child

The Man Child (aka the Nervous Nellie) is the sexter personality type that isn’t really comfortable with the technology or the idea of all of that dirty talk. A white knight in a world which eats men like this and spits them out mangled beyond recognition, the man child is wholly unsuited for engaging in hot convo’s over text or IM.

Not necessarily a geek or a nerd, the man child is simply sexually awkward with hilarious results. An example:

Popular examples: Buddy the Elf from, well, Elf – although I’m pretty sure he sealed the deal with Zooey after the closing credits. Maybe Napoleon Dynamite as well.

#5: The Freaky Creepy Stalker

Almost no introduction necessary – this guy speaks for himself. And boy, does he speak for himself and himself alone (ladies: I promise, there are real good men are nothing like this). The freaky creepy stalker, he pulls his keyboard out. Up start the texts and soon you’ll be grossed out. Then comes the “pic” and a total lack of a shame, then the freaky creepy stalker begins to lurk again. Yes, that’s to the tune of The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?

The freaky creepy stalker is perhaps the most dangerous and perverted of the sexting personalities but ultimately can be banished and blocked into text messaging oblivion. Thankfully, most of these sorts don’t gain much traction for all of their wasted efforts.

Popular examples: That older guy who always stares at your chest whenever you bend over at work, most university aged males, Herbert the Pervert from Family Guy.

What kind of Sexter Are You?

Text sex is safe sex, so always remember to keep those keypads clean and your conversations just a bit dirtier – it’s a lot more fun for everyone involved!

So which kind of sexter are you – or are you too good for this little list and too clean to own up to it? Let us know by leaving your comments below this post.

But be honest, you don’t have to lie. Just make sure to turn down the TV so you don’t wake mom and try to be more polite to those you sext in the future.

Are you one who likes to hit the road and go on epic road trips with your college pals? Many of the world’s favorite writers have had so much fun on the road that they’ve written unforgettable books for you to enjoy.

According to many critics, these are the top five books about famous road trips:

1. On the Road: Written by Jack Kerouac and published in 1957, this story works to capture life in the 1950s. The book’s narrator Sal Paradise goes cross country with his buddy Dean Moriarity, a reform school escapee who has stolen his fair share of cars and serves as Sal’s mentor. It is an adventure you won’t want to miss.
2. The Zen and Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: Published in 1974 and written by Robert M. Pirsig, the book is an exploration of the world of ideas during a journey that begins in Minneapolis and ends near San Francisco. This is a great one if you love philosophy.
3. American Nomads: Author Richard Grants writes about life on the open road as he shares stories from his 15 years of wandering throughout the US. His stories include chance meetings with truckers, rodeo cowboys, flea market traders, RV campers and more. You are guaranteed to laugh while reading!
4. Lolita: One of the most controversial yet loved novels ever written, Lolita takes you into the bizarre mind of Humbert Humbert. The aging man falls in love with Lolita, a young girl, and goes on a one year cross country road trip with her. The story is pretty funky, but has been noted as one of the best books ever written.
5. Sideways: This simultaneously funny and heartwarming book surrounds the wine tasting road trip of Miles and Jack. Topics within the book include lots of analysis of different wines, thoughts on relationships and plenty of hilarious moments. A great read for those who love wine and roadtripping.

We hope that you will read one or more of these adventures and be inspired to take to the road! These are only 5 of the numerous books about road trips….there are so many more out there. What are your favorite books on road trips? Please share on our Facebook wall!